Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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