i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
