so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
