I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
