I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Never underestimate the power of titties
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
