is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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