put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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