Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
