Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
