Nicole vs. Life
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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