AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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