Me too!
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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