you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
