so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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