I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
