he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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