If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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