btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
