So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
