u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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