Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
