Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am naked and annoyed.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
