I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
