A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
