Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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