i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
