Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
