So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
