dude i'm inner monologue high
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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