saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
