u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
