i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she smelled like a LAN party
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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