nut hugger
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
