my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
