and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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