she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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