you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
this boner is exhausting
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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