so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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