Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
It's blow job season.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
