so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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