WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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