In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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