I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
