When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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