Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
