this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i came on her dog
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
