I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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