I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
