i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
