I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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