can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
