this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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