Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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