Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
